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<title>Envy is the ulcer of the soul, but fuck it, he'll find a doctor later by xoimadivaox</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25210426">Envy is the ulcer of the soul, but fuck it, he'll find a doctor later</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/xoimadivaox/pseuds/xoimadivaox'>xoimadivaox</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Can be read as pre-relationship or platonic or as pining it's up to you, Drabble, Gen, Grumpy Shane, Inspired by a Bring Me video, Just... Generally being mad at Brent?, On location during filming, running thoughts</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 11:09:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>741</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25210426</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/xoimadivaox/pseuds/xoimadivaox</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes, Shane hates Ryan and envies the living shit out of Brent Bennett, of all people.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ryan Bergara &amp; Shane Madej</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>32</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Envy is the ulcer of the soul, but fuck it, he'll find a doctor later</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Golden4278/gifts">Golden4278</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I don't know you guys. Sometimes, I don't write a fucking word in 3 weeks and sometimes, I write a 700+ words drabble in less than 30 minutes. Go fucking figure.</p><p>But I'll say this: I was on Facebook and a Bring Me video popped up with Brent in it being somewhere nice and warm and sunny and I felt instantly bad for Shane and the Shane!Muse in my head started grumbling so I wrote it out.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">Sometimes, Shane hates Ryan and envies the living shit out of Brent Bennett, of all people.</p><p class="p1">Usually, Shane feels this way when Ryan has yet again managed to convince the higher ups at BuzzFeed along with the owners of an allegedly haunted location to let them sleep over. Mind you, if it's a fairly nice place, Shane doesn't mind. Like the Lizzie Borden house. He liked it. He loves history and well, the house still had that Victorian feel to it and it was fun.</p><p class="p1">What's less fun however is the way Ryan somehow <em>always </em>manages to set an episode in an abandoned and run down location, usually an asylum and he hates those. Never mind the general creepiness of them. He does have emotions contrary to what Ryan seems to believe, thank you very much, and he always feels bad for the suffering the patients here had to go through and he usually tries to be a little bit more solemn in those places. But what really makes him grumpy about these places is the general hazardous state of the building. He half suspects that the only reason they've never found a used and discarded syringe is because Devon sweeps the location before they go in as a small token in the name of the preservation of his mental health, but it could also be that there's never been any. But he doubts that.</p><p class="p1">At the moment, he's exactly into one of those locations. The room they're in is one of the very few to have all of its windows intact, but there's a draft coming from all the other rooms and the hallway that means he's already halfway to freezing to death because of course this location is on the eastern side of the country and <em>of course</em> they're in the middle of November and <strong>of course</strong> there are seasons there and <span class="u">of course</span> the nights are cold this time of the year and <span class="u"><strong><em>of course</em></strong></span> he's going to strangle Ryan before the end of the night if he doesn't fucking settles down and tries to fucking sleep.</p><p class="p1">And while he's at it. Another thing that makes him grumpy: The total and complete lack of bed. He's not 20 anymore, he didn't spend his college years in a frat, he's not used to sleeping on the floor after having been too drunk to make it home after a party, <em>Ryan</em>. The hard as fuck concrete floor is fucking up his back and he's gonna have to make an appointment with his chiropractor once he gets back in LA and uuuuuuugh. One of these days, he'll send the bill straight to Ryan Fucking Bergara.</p><p class="p1">So yeah. He's cold, he's uncomfortable, he's annoyed because Ryan keeps shuffling in his sleeping bag, he's hungry and he fucking envies Brent Bennett.</p><p class="p1">Why you ask?</p><p class="p1">Simple. Because Brent fucking bowed out of this show at the right time. Back when all he had to do was sit in his car and listen to Ryan go on and on about a murder or another and scare himself with the wind like the dipshit he is or sit in a BuzzFeed studio on a truly uncomfortable plastic chair. Because now <em>Mister</em> Bennett is going on all expenses paid trips for fucking <em>Bring Me</em> in the Maldives or Malta or Butt-Fuck-But-Touristicky-Nowhere, South America. Point is. Brent keeps being sent to warm, sunny and fun locations while Shane is stuck in allegedly haunted locations with his scaredy cat of a best friend that he wants to throttle 99% of the night.</p><p class="p1">"Oh fuck! Did you hear that?!" Ryan asks and Shane groans.</p><p class="p1">"No. Go the fuck to sleep, for the love of God, Jesus and everything holy."</p><p class="p1">There's a beat of silence, a bang somewhere down the hallway that makes Ryan jump and the tell-tale of a sleeping bag being moved.</p><p class="p1">"I don't care what you say or think, dude. I'm getting closer to you."</p><p class="p1">As Ryan's back presses against his own, Shane can't help to acknowledge that Ryan is undoubtedly staring at the door, daring it to move on its own, daring any spirit to walk past — or worse, <strong>in</strong> — their doorway, eyes wide and heart thundering. But he also can't help softening up and thank Brent in his mind for giving him the chance to do this.</p><p class="p1">Because at the end of the day, there's no other place he'd rather be than right by Ryan's side.</p>
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